Charging head on

Last night I watched "Front of the Class" on HBO. It's based on the life of Brad Cohen who has Tourette's Syndrome (a neurological disorder characterized by repetitive, stereotyped, involuntary movements and vocalizations called tics. -www.ninds.nih.gov). I'm not writing a movie review so I'm gonna keep it short. I like it and I recommend people to watch it.

I'm kind of jealous of Brad Cohen. Not jealous of his Tourette's but his optimism. He has a disability and yet he never gives up. After watching the movie, I was inspired. I told myself I should give optimism a shot. I'm not pessimistic (to others anyway). I consider myself a realist or balance-ist (Look it up the dictionary... the word doesn't exist). A balance-ist is a person who will be optimistic or pessimistic depending on the situation. If I have a friend who's down and pessimistic about something, I'll help him look at the bright side of it. If ignorantly and overly optimistic about something, I'll give him a reality bitch slap. Don't get their hopes too high but don't let them go too low either. Everything in moderation.

Being optimistic is hard for me. I hate being disappointed. I guess when I was a kid I was let down a lot and developed this defense mechanism to avoid people/events/things that may cause any disappointment. Optimism is about focusing on your desires and I'm used to focusing on my fears. It's not "I want this to happen" but "I don't want this to happen". So as a step in improving my life, from now on I will not avoid eye contact! I will not avoid women that are flirting with me or overly friendly women! I will not avoid opportunities that may cause disappointment! I will not avoid running over a pedestrian! Hurrah!